Nope… it’s a couple of cheap ass queens taking away a couple bucks from a waitress.

The story? First night of the week in P-Town. (PEEE-TOWN!!!) We’re out to dinner and the menu clearly says “Gratuity added for parties of 5 or more”, and we’re five. When the bill arrives, the “mother” of this expedition calculates the appropriate contribution based on whether we have had cocktails, full entrees, etc. Not optimal for a big(gish) group, but it seems fair and I throw my cash in. Several throw their cards in and pony up for their share. After all have signed, someone starts encouraging additional gratuity amounts, and I remind folks not to go completely overboard, since the gratuity was already included. Once those folks realize that, they want to reexamine the entire bill. Mind you this was not a thousand dollar bill or even a few hundred dollar bill. So even taking off 20% would have been a couple bucks per person, and meant she would have to rerun every card, only because my colleagues couldn’t bother to read the menu. They persisted… so instead of sucking up 4 or 5 dollars and realizing we screwed up, they decided to make her deal with it instead. The pettiness infuriated me.

We are (obviously) men of means if we are spending a week or two in a resort. We are obviously able to buy plane tickets, and rent for a condo, and pay for a lovely dinner out. Five Dollars will not put us in the poor house. But yet, these queens are so cheap, that they refuse to admit they screwed up, and except the (minimal) cost of that mistake. No… they have to exact their pound of flesh from a seasonal waitress. In the name of… oh, I don’t even know what.

Come on people… keep perspective… life is too short to sweat the pennies. Taking back a dollar is petty, and if you honestly need that dollar, maybe you should not be in the place where you need to take it back. In short, live your life where you should, and how you’d want to be treated.

Man, it is good to be back.

So my thoughts? I love the new ballpark. I had feared that they would go retro, which is becoming a bit of cliche in baseball. Thankfully, Nationals Park is laid out perfectly for baseball, but manages to subtly blend into the background. As much as I like Camden Yards, I’ve always felt an O’s game was more about the park than the game. Nationals Park is a modern, complete facilities to make a baseball game enjoyable, maybe even enhancing the game, without distracting from the game itself. I’m thankful that elements that do work at other stadiums, like the concourse at center field, and the restarant/bar Red Porch and Red Loft were incorporated.

I have one big gripes: Concessions. Granted I’m a big beer snob, but the beer selection at Nationals Park seems to be inferior to that at RFK. At RFK, you were never too far from a Red Hook, or Sierra Nevada. At Nationals Park, the best I found was the Home Run Ale at a hidden Leinenkugel counter, which was gone before the first pitch Ditto for the Bass. I did find Stella Artois and Pilsner Urquell, but I was looking for something with a little more heft. In fact, the stands were running out of a lot of things, but I’m going to assume that they running short from the exhibition the night before against the O’s.

Even if I had found a good beer, I would have been hard pressed to get it. The lines were horrendous. One counter’s lines were intersecting others, so sometimes you weren’t sure what you were in line for. I’m hoping it had a lot to do with the crush of people at opening day, and some inexperience. The current situation is not sustainable for the ballpark.

As far as the Nats’ prospects for the season… well, we need a closer… bad. I’ve never been a big fan of Chad Cordero, since he usually gives up runs, and makes every save a nailbiter. That said, Rauch blew it, and had me wishing Cordero was well enough to play. Granted the Lo Duca’s passed ball blew the lead, but Rauch put the guy in a scoring position. Other than that, glad to have Johnson back, see that Zim hasn’t lost his touch, and the Guzman may live up to my hopes.

Speaking of Lo Duca… Hubba Hubba! I know he likes them young and with vaginas, but… Hubba Hubba! And he’s in his mid thirties… close to my age of erdy-eim. So, Paulie, if you decide to give up the teen ‘tang, call me. A year or two ago, I was lamenting how the Nats were the perfect team for DC, since it is Hollywood for ugly people. Let’s face it, while Dmitri Young and Nick Johnson can hit, I don’t want to see either naked. But I’m thinking with Lo Duca, FeLo, and Zim, the tide is turn. Batter up!

I actually snapped tons of lovely photos, but I was battling a new camera, and most came out blurry. Here are the few that came out OK.

I’m not saying I’m quitting. I’m just going to figure out what I really want this to be this time around.

I promise I’ll be back.

I’ve been hearing so much about GM spending a gazillion dollars on the new Chevy Malibu advertising campaign, but honestly, other than the cheesy bank robber TV ads, and an occasional banner ad on msn.com, I hadn’t seen as much of this campaign as I would have expected.

Until I arrived in NY. Holy crap… it looks like GM shrink wrapped all of Manhattan with Malibu ads. Walking down most streets, every bus kiosk was papered with a Chevy Malibu billboard. As I was taking a cab from Murray Hill to Hell’s Kitchen, there was a building wrapped with a huge billboard of cartoon people hanging out of windows staring at a huge Malibu. (I tried to snap a picture from the cab, but it didn’t turn out.).

It seemed odd that Chevy would draw its line in the sand in Manhattan. After all, if there was a place I would expect most folks NOT to be in the market for a car, it would be Manhattan. Then again, is there any place where you would have so many commuters, business travellers and tourists from middle America concentrated. I doubt anyone who’s visited NY wouldn’t know about the new Chevy Malibu now.

Any which way, it is clear to me now that Chevy is betting the farm on the Malibu. I haven’t driven it yet, but I have been fascinated with its styling from the beginning. Based on the reviews I’ve read, GM may finally be “getting” it, at least somewhat. If the Malibu is indeed the make or break car for Chevy, lets hope they got it right, especially since I just bought a G’s worth of GM’s stock.

Sidenote: We went to see Die Mommie Die when in NYC. Go. See. Now. Charles Busch is a comic genius, and the play is even better than the movie, thanks to CB. Go. See. Now.

Thus started my fascination with the Studebaker, Packard and the demise of the company. Post-war Studebakers were innovative. The designs created by Raymond Loewy are timeless. The mid-50’s Starliner coupes are some of the most beautiful automobiles in history, and were a great foil for Harley Earl’s monstrous, tail-finned, chrome-laden vision of the future. The Lark predicted the rise of compact car before the Big Three had anything in it’s showroom.

When I stumbled across this ad from 1963, I was even more amazed. The 1964 model year was just as Studebaker production stopped in South Bend, and production of the Chevybakers (GM engines) was moved to Canada. And they introduced a high performance, supercharged compact! In 1963! This had me thinking.. what if Studebaker hadn’t been financially mismanaged and were to survive, or even merged with Daimler-Benz? (Mercedes-Benzes were sold through Studebaker dealers) Would it still be here? Would it provide a truly, uniquely American sport sedan? Better yet, would the spirit of the Super Hawk and Super Lark be alive in an M3 fighter?

For your enjoyment, the last gasp of an American icon:

How many times can my heart break
Disillusioned by the thought of flawless love?

When I was in P-Town, I met a wonderful man named Ryan. We were immediately smitten with each other, and been aggressively dating ever since. I have told only a few people, on the fear of jinxing it.

Too late.

Tonight, he set me on my way.

This is all I can think:

Once again, BMW is befuddling me. This car… oh, sorry… this Sport Activity Coupe (which means that it really is a SAC of shit) is tall and heavy like an SUV, but has a raked roofline like a sports coupe. Hmmm… so BMW took the most impractical aspects of two completely different classes of car and melded them in into an SUV with no rear headroom, very little cargo capacity and lousy fuel economy. What’s not logical about that? Never mind the styling is somewhat lackluster, and in profile reminds more of a Subaru Legacy Sedan or Infiniti M than a BMW.

If BMW truly wanted to meld the best aspects of a sports coupe and SUV, why not create a low-slung, ass-haulin’ shooting brake?

Mercedes-Benz, BMW and Audi all seem to be in a rush be the first into new, yet-undiscovered car segments. My fear is in the rush to be all things to all people, they will spread themselves too thin, that they may put their future in jeopardy.