I received a letter today that my 325Ci is being recalled for faulty ignition coils. I was thinking “Fine, it happens.”

As I was reading the notice, though, I realized that it said “… 2002, 2003 and 2004 model year BMW automobiles, equipped with six, eight and twelve cylinder engines…” WTF?!?!? That’s like every single BMW sold in the US! Potentially that is 600,000 cars and SUVs (oh, sorry… SAVs) in North America alone.

How is it I haven’t heard about this? I’ve been busy lately, but I think I would have noticed if 600K BMWs were recalled. GM would be crucified for that many.

Best I can figure is BMW has been sneaky on this one. They are calling this a “Voluntary Emissions Recall Campaign.” OK, it been a long time since I had to use my BS in MechE, but I think if a few of the ignition coils failed, my Ultimate Driving Machine would sound more like a ‘78 Olds 88 Diesel. A bit more than an emissions issue, in my book. It’s not a safety issue like some, but many other manufacturers have reported lesser recalls to higher fan fare. My current theory is this kind of recall doesn’t get the usual governmental paper-pushers all worked up, and avoids significant press.

Also, this seems to be something that has been a phased in. I’ve been trawling the BMW message boards, and it seems that a 5 Series owner here, a Z4 owner there have been getting these notices for a several months now. Also, some owners have been getting the coils replaced for even further back through a secret recall, extended warranty, etc.

Obviously, BMW knows a thing or two about good press vs. bad press. GM and Ford should take a lesson. When you need to recall, don’t delay until the last minute and be proactive before it hits critical mass. BMW is only getting away with this because they have given themselves the luxury of time before we’re all stranded on the road. Also avoid a nasty public demand from consumers or a governmental agency.

This stuff happens to all manufacturers, but I’m pretty amazed how this has played out.

Once again, Dave and the guys over at MPH have a kick-butt spy photo, this time of the BMW 3 Series hardtop convertible. (Those guys get all the good stuff.)

As I’ve previously stated, BMW is making a great decision to make the next 3 Series convertible with a retractable hardtop. While much more complicated than a traditional soft-top, these are infinitely superior for those of us in climates where you spend at least 50% of time with the top up. The visibility is much better, and driving with the top up is much quieter.

When it was leaked that BMW was going to make the convertible a hardtop, I was a little concerned that BMW would have to compromise the styling to accommodate the mechanics of the top. It looks like they haven’t had to compromise much of anything. This thing could end up being the most stunning BMW in years. When I say stunning, I mean not fucking hideous. Somebody must have finally taken away Chris Bangle’s ugly stick.

(Note to BMW: Please NO CHROME EYELIDS ON THE GRILLE. They just look silly.)

This blog was originally to be a mixture of cars, gay politics, DC-related news, and… oh… hot guys. I’ve mostly focused on cars, with a little DC content. For the most part, I haven’t delved into anything really personal, and that was by design. This post is different… I just got back from my first trip back to Chicago since the “divorce.” It was a trip I was pretty nervous about making, and it surprised me a bit. Click through only if you are really interested in the neurotic workings of my mind.
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Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m stealing this from Ed, who stole it from Chrisafer:

I am thankful that I have a loving, supportive and crazy-ass family.

I am thankful that I have a job where I can be my own person.

I am thankful that I have friends who make me laugh so hard, I cry.

I am thankful that I have friends who make me laugh when I cry.

I am thankful for my little house in the ‘hood.

I am thankful that Chrisafer is gay. (Gotta keep the chain going.)

I am thankful that Ed is finally letting go. (He’s got quite a grip.)

I am thankful for my health and health insurance.

I am thankful for the smile I get from driving my car.

I am thankful that I quit smoking.

I am thankful that Scott was part of my life for so long.

I am thankful that I persevered when Scott went away.

I am thankful for 4 of the coolest niece and nephews.

I am thankful that I will get another soon.

I am thankful for the old friends that have come back into my life.

I am thankful for another year to be thankful.

I’ve been incredibly busy at my real job, and had guests from out of town in all weekend… thus why no posts. But I couldn’t this go:

WHY? WHY? WHY?

This ridiculous monstrosity from Mattig will be shown at the Essen Motor Show. The Essen Motor Show is a bit like a German version of our SEMA, which of course mean I have no use for it.

Never mind it’s for an E46 which isn’t even produced anymore. Nothing like taking a $35K sport sedan and making it look like a $10K ricer.

From “I Love New York” on Madonna’s new album, Confession On A Dance Floor

I don’t like cities, but I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork
Los Angeles is for people who sleep
Paris and London, baby you can keep

Actually, the new album, while no Ray of Light, is reasonably entertaining for what it is… a compilation of dance music. Like any album, there are some stinkers (**cough** Forbidden Love **cough** Push **cough**), but also some pretty catchy singles (Hung Up, Jump). Nothing earth shattering, but definitely worth a listen. Then again , after American Life, my expectations were pretty low.

P.S. I know a drive-by review of a Madonna is pretty faggy… guilty as charged.

This is an open letter to the festering anal wart who broke into my house yesterday morning.

Just wanted to congratulate you:

Congratulations for being so brazen as to break in while I was upstairs in the shower. Most folks would have waited for their victims to go to work. You, on the other hand, were so tweaked and desperate for your next fix that you couldn’t wait.

Congratulations for having the perseverance to hit my place after the failed attempt at the house down the street

Congratulations for having the insight to grab a broken DVD player, an iPod dock (but of course leaving the iPod) and a 4 year old laptop which weighed 10 pounds and had a battery life of 10 minutes. While you might have gotten $50 for the laptop, I had to spend 20 times that to replace it, plus lost source code for a independent project, every digital photo I took in the past 6 months, and more importantly my pictures of hunky, nekkid men.

Congratulations for having shifted my previously unwavering support of gun control. Maybe having a gun in the house would be OK if it keeps pathetic junkies like you out.

Congratulations for turning my world upside down. You may have gotten cash for your next fix, but now I don’t feel safe in my own house, can’t sleep and jump at any weird sound.

Fresh on the heels of Renault’s (at least in the world that revolves around me), comes an extremely well done Citroen advertisement.

The French always seem to polarize folks, but no matter your opinion, you gotta admit they have come out with Super Bowl caliber advertising for the everyday.

Maybe Bill Ford will take a look at these, stop boring us to tears and make want to BUY his cars.

(Via The View Through The Windshield.)

I can’t stop laughing…

Joe Sherlock compares the Hummer H3 to “a jack-booted lesbian midget with a large trucker’s wallet and chain.”

This thing is sex on wheels. And with the seats down, you could comfortably do the deed.

The guys at MPH have the latest spy photos of the BMW M5 Touring (that’s station wagon in Bimmer-speak). I personally think that the 5-Series wagon is vastly more pleasing than the sedan. Then again, I just have a weird thing for wagons. Regardless, those of us who are city dwellers, and have limited parking, need a car that can be practical and still emotionally titillating. And with a 500hp V10, the M5 Touring should be able to haul… both literally and figuratively speaking.

I think the previous object of my lust has just been cast aside.

I have been swamped at work, so I haven’t been posting much. Honestly, there hasn’t been much to post about.

This week was the SEMA Show in Las Vegas, which I really couldn’t care less about. I personally find a trade show about oversized chrome wheel, and tacky plastic add-ons for your car very unappealing. If I wanted to see that kind of travesty, I could just walk around my neighborhood to see the S430 with a tacky spoiler, or the Chrysler 300 (not 300C) with the 22 inch chrome wheels and mesh grill.

To make a short story long, the entire auto press has been obsessed with SEMA and I couldn’t have been more bored. This absurd photo was taken by Dave at MPH. He seems to have the same jaded outlook about this that I do. (As far as I know, the hot guy is just a bystander.)

Autoweek is reporting that Malcolm Bricklin’s attempt to bring cars from Chinese manufacturer Chery to the US is stalled. Oh, I’m so shocked.

It seems that he needs to provide the financing for Chery to create all new cars for the US market. Chery’s existing cars won’t fill the bill since they too tiny for American tastes, don’t meet our safety standards and/or are blatant rip offs of other companies.

I can’t figure out why anybody even pays attention to this ol’ coot. Malcolm Bricklin is not a automotive visionary, or even a good business man. The View Though The Windshield has a good summary of failures. He is sometimes referred to as the man who brought Subaru to the US. Actually in 1971, 2 years after the Subaru 360 went on sale, Subaru paid Bricklin off to get the fuck out. He used the pay off to to create his sports car, which went bankrupt under 32 million in debt. His only successes in my book were importing the Fiat X1/9 and Spiders, along with the Yugo in the 80’s. Not exactly a great legacy.

So let’s analyze what went wrong:

1. Visionary Vehicles: Dumb name. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. My 6 year old nephew could come up with something better.
2. Requiring a separate 15 million dollar dealership: Let’s face it, Chinese cars are not going to have the reliability of their Japanese or even Korean competitors. (This article mentions the weld quality, which would never fly here.) There will be a lot of risk for both customers and dealers. The customers will demand a very low price, and dealers will want to lay out a minimal amount of capital. 15 million dollars up front is too much to ask.
3. Developing new products: Bricklin’s current plan was to create affordable luxury cars. Trouble is Chery doesn’t have anything quite like that. Maybe The Oriental Son could pass as a luxury car in China, but is more like a mid-size family sedan here. Chery’s SUV (Tiggo) is pretty much a copy of a RAV4, so it could not be sold here, especially as a luxury SUV. Gee, wouldn’t it have been easier to find Chinese cars that are already in production, and could be federalized?
4. Launching with a 5 car lineup: Let’s look at how most companies have introduced their cars to the US. Everyone I can think of started out with 1 or 2 cars that they could sell the hell out of, and then slowly expand the range. Hmmm…. I wonder why? Maybe it’s that whole risk thing of having such huge capital expenditures. Maybe it’s the ability to finance future models with the profits from the original core. Maybe it’s a way to keep all your eggs out of that one basket, and be able to adjust your strategy if you were a little off in your market research. (Assuming Bricklin did any.) Creating an all new, 5 car lineup would be a challenge for any auto manufacturer, but almost impossible for a company without any experience in creating cars for the US and it’s maze of regulations.